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What’s Wrong With: Star Trek Beyond

What’s Wrong With: Star Trek Beyond

Very few movies have made me as angry as Star Trek Into Darkness.  That movie took all of the potential of the Star Trek reboot – the excellent cast, the modernized effects, the new perspective on the story – and squandered all of it on a convoluted story of a militarized Federation and a needlessly whitewashed Khan.  Seriously, the awesome Benedict Cumberbatch was utterly miscast and wasted on a strange revenge story.  The crimes are too many to count: the spaceship went underwater, Khan’s blood suddenly had healing abilities, and the strongest scene in any Star Trek movie was reimagined without any of the emotional impact of the original.  THAT movie was seemingly written by someone who thought they understood Star Trek fans and was tragically mistaken.  Star Trek Beyond goes a long way to correct many of the errors of Into Darkness.  It’s not nearly as good as the best of Trek (not as good as Wrath or First Contact or even the one with the whales) but it’s a solid, fun movie.  While we’re heartened by this vast improvement, there are a few things we wished we would have seen in this movie.  Here’s our thoughts about what’s wrong with Star Trek Beyond.

I know, I know. After Into Darkness, I was uncertain too. But Star Trek Beyond a good movie and you oughta see it.

The first two minutes

Okay, the first two minutes of this movie are pretty horrible.  In a scene seemingly stolen from Men In Black, Kirk tries and immediately fails to negotiate a treaty with a bunch of silly little aliens.  Watching this, I felt myself cringing a bit and wondering if silly aliens was going to be a repeated punchline in this movie (it isn’t).  Into Darkness had a similar problem; the opening scene there involved a stereotypical primitive species (straight from a 40’s era Flash Gordon radio serial), an underwater Enterprise and transporters that apparently can’t function around volcanoes.  Fortunately, Beyond course-corrects pretty quickly and the rest of the movie works well.  Following that scene, Kirk’s soliloquy comes off as a nicely written and sophisticated reflection on working in space long-term.  So just cringe through those first few minutes and keep in mind it will get better.

Don’t be put off by the early attempts at humor. By the time Sofia Boutella shows up, the movie gets serious again.

It pretends that Khan never happened

Maybe I missed it, but there is absolutely no mention of the previous movie here.  Essentially, Star Trek seems to be acting as though Into Darkness never happened whereas the original movie gets referenced quite a bit.  To be sure, Into Darkness was a mess.  It introduced bizarre characters, magic blood, and ridiculously advanced technology that undermined the need to even have a Federation.  I totally understand why the series wants to treat that movie like the Indiana Jones series treats Temple of Doom (seriously, the Ark shows up in Last Crusade, Indy’s dad gets mentioned in Crystal Skull, but Short Round magically disappears).  Still, to simply act as though these events didn’t happen (particularly when Christopher Pike died in that movie) is really unfair, particularly to those of us who sat through that movie.  You guys made us watch this mess, now you need to deal with it.

Who is this “Khan” you speak of? I’ve never heard of him.

The villain

The villains in the new Star Trek movies are always criminally underserved.  The movies get great actors – Cumberbatch, Eric Bana, and here Idris Elba – and give them characters who are either one-note or foolishly reimagined.  These new movies are not taking advantage of the quality of the actors they are casting.  Meanwhile Alice Krige, Ricardo Montalban, Christopher Lloyd and even F. Murray Abraham get better written roles as more memorable villains.  Here Idris Elba is saddled with the thankless task of being large and menacing for nearly 90% of the movie before his actual motivations are revealed (oh, unless you see that spoilery trailer, in which case you already know the “big twist”).  Even when you understand his history, it’s still hard to comprehend why he’s doing what he’s doing.  And he’s not alone.  Seriously, none of these rebooted movies have provided a decent villain for Kirk and crew to battle, despite casting some of the best actors these movies have ever seen.  Hopefully, the next movie will give us someone as memorable as the original Khan, or the Borg Queen, or even that weirdo alien who thought he was god.

These aren’t the most imaginative looking aliens out there. But at least their backstory makes absolutely no sense.

The final battle

The conclusion of a Star Trek movie needs to raise the stakes and put the characters into actual jeopardy.  Most importantly, the captain needs to be in the middle of the action.  This movie improves on the last movie by keeping Kirk at the center of the action but doesn’t create any sense of heightened stakes.  The real climax of the battle arrives a little early.  By the time Kirk is saving the day, there’s little doubt about how things will turn out.  Not to get too spoilery, but I think the issue is that the villain’s weapon is fairly ill-defined.  His fleet of ships is terrifying, but his doomsday device is pretty much a McGuffin.  This is still much, much better than reimagining the end of a previous Star Trek movie as Into Darkness did.  We’re hoping for a more dramatic climax in the next one.

Anton Yelchin is an awesome actor who gave us a vibrant, fun, exciting Chekov. He really comes through as the heart of this series. JJ Abrams has said Chekov won’t be recast. All we know is that Yelchin can’t be replaced.

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