Can Far Cry Stop Making Me Miserable?

I’m starting to feel like Far Cry hates us.  I think two weeks is enough time to address spoilers but we will be discussing the endings of several Far Cry games, including the most recent Far Cry 5, so consider this your warning.

So in the final hours of Far Cry 5, after you’ve downed the Seed family siblings and tracked cult master Joseph back to the church where the game started, you and the allies you’ve earned during the game confront him and you’re given a choice.  You can, opt to walk away and seemingly get possessed by the brainwashing you’ve been exposed to throughout the game.  This would be the “bad” ending.  Alternatively, you can resist Joseph’s request to walk away peacefully and open fire. Survive this gun fight and you’ll be greeted to one of many soon to come nuclear explosions on the horizon.  It’s end of the world time.  Joseph Seed was right – though we really could have used more clarity as to where those nukes came from.

You did it!

You and your buddies toss Joseph Seed into a truck and make a mad dash to one of the few available bunkers (thankfully the locals have been prepping for this!).  Unfortunately you inevitably crash your car and Joseph once again walks away unscathed from a major vehicular crash, dragging you into the bunker alone slamming it shut behind you. You end the game sitting face to face with Joseph aware you’re going to be spending some quality time with him for a while.  This would be the “good” ending.

We think we’re starting to see a trend.  Far Cry 4 allows you to kill Pagan Min but the world remains under oppression of whichever ally you aligned with during the game.  Far Cry 3 wraps with you either leaving the island with your friends slightly distracted that you now know you’re a serial killer or staying behind and just leaning into your kill streak as some sort of mass murdering god.  Far Cry 2, well, no matter what you’re gonna die.  Woot.  All of these games leave you feeling like crap.

Far Cry 2 was a few years ahead on the opioid crisis debate as your allies would demand you shoot them instead of ODing

In a recent interview, The Rock admitted that he refuses to make sad movies. “You pay your hard earned money — I don’t need to bring my dark shit to you… When the credits roll, I want to feel great.” I’m really okay with this.  I don’t expect The Rock to deliver an Oscar level performance (he was pretty damned good in Be Cool though).  I do expect to check out mentally for a couple of hours enjoying some over the top action and usually some hilarious moments when I see a movie with The Rock in it (somehow The Rundown gets better every single time I see it).

Far Cry hasn’t learned this lesson yet.  A game that allows you fight along side a bear named Cheeseburger and get shitfaced at the local Testicle Festival, decides it wants to be dramatically profound for its conclusion.  Why do this?  The best parts of Far Cry are when the rails come off and things go hilariously crazy. We didn’t need to be sitting across from Joseph Seed in a stare down, we needed to be driving out of an exploding underground base in the General Lee with Joseph Seed desperately clinging to the hood of the car before getting vivisected by an errant pipe.

The Far Cry franchise is not a serious game.  It’s wildly over the top and significantly better when it acknowledges this (thank you Blood Dragon!).  Come on, Ubisoft, stop trying to bum is out when we get to the credits, because it’s making us hate to finish these games.

Damnit, just give us a sequel to this game and stop trying to be “serious”